The five stages of burnout and an invitation

Identifiying the stages and some of the differences between occupational & neurodivergent burnout. Plus an invitation to attend a free workshop with me tommorrow : )

Photo by Verne Ho on Unsplash

Have you experienced burnout? If so, you will know just how scary it feels when it hits. Burnout as a word doesn’t feel like it quite does the experience justice. Although it describes very well the state of our mind, body and resources.

Can you remember what your first signs were that burnout was looming? When I look back, I remember little niggles, achey tense shoulders, a brain that couldn’t switch off more than usual. And then one day, I remember delivering a menopause training session online and I had THAT feeling of doom, I am not sure I still enjoy this.

That was terrifying. Because I know I love my work with every piece of me. I can’t imagine wanting to do anything else. But there it was. The thought, the warning, something is very wrong.

When I look back in hindsight I can see that I had created the perfect storm for it.

Starting my own business, willing it to work with long days and overthinking. Financial worries, perimenopause, life stress, the wrong environments. A brain that felt autonomously propelled to do more and more and more. Discovering my neurodivergence, receiving a diagnosis, processing it, a lack of support.

Photo by notorious v1ruS on Unsplash

It had all accumulated into one big ball and bowled me right over or rather incidiously wore me down. Have you been able to identify what contributed to yours?

I have described below the five stages of what burnout felt like:

PHASE 1

You feel like you are losing your joy and interest in the things you usually love. You feel constantly irritated and struggle more than usual to focus. You are increasingly forgetting things, feel almost like your thoughts are stunted in some way. You become more frustrated and beat yourself up at your inability to work like normal. You try to work more to compensate but you end up feeling very unproductive. Your senses feel heightened and can leave you feeling permanently on edge.

PHASE 2

You are tired beyond words and can sleep for hours. You can’t think straight and feel like you can’t form full sentences in your mind. It is messy and tangled. Fuzzy. You are full up with noise and can’t take any stimulus in or give it out. Just lying in a dark room is enough. You lose your appetite and only want bland foods. You have body aches and feel heavy and even brushing your teeth and showering can feel too much. You might really worry that this is chronic fatigue, firbromyalga or another ongoing chronic illness.

PHASE 3

You are tired but are not sleeping the same amount as before, infact you might struggle to sleep. You might have small moments of inspiration and feel like there are little sparks coming back to you. You can do a little more. Even if it is just showering and sitting outside. Maybe even watching a favourite TV program that requires minimal effort to watch.

PHASE 4

You are feeling better. You can see some light at the end of the tunnel. Some days you will get carried away and be like WOW look at all the stuff I can do! Followed by a setback for a few days. You are learning to work with your limitations and energy levels. Your body is telling you when you go past your limit.

PHASE 5

You feel like you are out the other side. In fact there will be times when you think you are back to ‘normal’ again. BUT if you return to your original old way of living, it might not be long till you find yourself in burnout again. Burnout is your mind and bodys way of telling you that your old habits need to change. It is time to sit down and work out what you need to live more comfortably, so that you aren’t continuously stuck in these cycles.

Why are ADHD, Autistic & Neurodivergent people more prone to Burnout?

People that are ADHD / Autistic / neurodivergent are more susceptible to burnout. Some reasons for this might be: Studies show that Autistic brains create over 40% more activity at rest. ADHD brains tell us to always be doing with many channels blasting all at once.

For people that don’t know that they are neurodivergent they may have been stretching beyond what their nervous system can deal with for years.

What’s the difference between occcupational burnout and ND burnout?

“While someone with occupational burnout will feel chronically stressed due to the pressures of their work, someone with autistic burnout will feel chronically stressed due to the pressures of living and working in a neurotypical world, life stress and coping with social and sensory stressors.” - Dr Alice Nicholls

“Women with ADHD experience acute burnout due to executive dysfunction, gender role expectations, hormonal fluctuations, and perfectionism. ” - Additude magazine

Looking back, I can infact, see that there had been mini burnout patches over the past few years, that then built up to be most weekends. I could manage the 9-5, the school runs, what HAD to be done in the week but come the weekend?

There was nothing left in the tank. I would often get that familiar feeling of ‘coming down’ a non descript lurgy, only to never ‘come down’ with it. I had several doctors appointments over the years for it and they’d do tests and say there was nothing wrong. I wonder just how many of us there are with similar experiences?

But I knew that something was off.

When I crashed last year, it was very intense for about three months, with things very slowly getting easier. At the time I was so worried that I might never return to normal.

What was key, was getting to the bottom of what had caused it. Only once I had worked out those layers that kept me always on the go, could I set about changing things.

I can’t say that I won’t end up burntout again because, well, the nature of my brain but I hope I have the insight now to avoid it being as bad.

Tomorroe evening, Wednesday 28th August I am hosting a FREE online workshop 7-8pm for anyone that also finds it hard to stop where we will be looking at WHY we find it so hard to stop, consider what’s behind that and collectively discuss ways of finding moments to pause in a way that feels right to us.

If you’d like to join me, well it would be lovely to see you there.

Thank you, as always for reading this far and being here x